Chemistry of Love.....

After all these years.....

A2 exam now....
Left 3 papers....
I am quite scared now,,,
as I dont think i
did well for the past 3 papers....
I dont even work as hard as last time.,..
It was like....
I become lazy & no more determination,,,
I am so scared now...
I scared
this....
my laziness....
will affect my studies...
now and in future....
becoming a doctor...
They said...
It's very hard
to become a doctor....
Everyday MUST study....
But i scared...
I cant archive that high...
I lost my faith....
I lost my confidence....
I lost my determination...
I lost every good habits....

I get screwed up...
No body can help me...
ONLY me myself...
can bring me out of these...

I know....
I dont like the feeling
of being a loser...
But...
This kind of thinking no longer
works on me.,.,.
It didnt motivate me like last time....
I am lost....
Confused,....
which decision should i make...
which road should i take...
what should i do....
and what should i dont...

God....
Please show me the way somehow...
I am losing my faith...
I really wish to become
a doctor,
but my laziness.,..
it just ruined me...
How can I study everyday
like those my friends....
How can i believe again....
That I can endure all these?
How can I do it again...
win the race...
succeed in every challenges...
without losing a breath...
leaving no mercy for the word 'Give Up'...
How ....
God... please
please show me how....
I want to be a better person...
When could i just wake up
from all these nightmares?
Just show me how to do it....


Harry